Thursday, March 7, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Gifts
There are gifts we are given for our birthday or Christmas. There are gifts that God gave us to use to benefit others. There are gifts we give one another of a non material nature. We all love receiving gifts even those that don't suit our taste. We express gratitude and either regift the unwanted item or put it in a closet for later. I currently have such a gift waiting in limbo to be either regifted or take to the thrift shop for someone to purchase. The item was bought on QVC by a person who visited my home. The item probably was quite costly given where it was purchased but simply isn't something I would use. We all have those "gifts".
God given gifts are another category. If we are beloved by God and gifted with talents it is our responsibility to claim them and then use them. If the gifts God gave were as simple as a fabulous singing voice that would be easy. Most of God's gifts are not so transparent. Over my 61 years I have sought to know what my gifts were. I always imagined myself in the next life having the gift of singing. The gift to be "the star" and make people tingle with my voice. Dreaming about that life isn't helping me claim whatever gifts God gave me in this life. So here is my assessment thus far.
I have the gift of hospitality. Not only in my own home, but in a broader sense. I welcome you to this life on this planet regardless of our differences. I believe this hospitality of spirit is what attracts some people to me. There is something within me that makes people feel safe.
I have the gift of words. I am not such a gifted writer although there are times when I can put together a nice missive. I am gifted with the spoken word. Not elocution. Not speech making. I am gifted in taking your feelings and putting words to them. I am able to sympathize or empathize about your problem and talk through with emotion the experience you are having. Am I a great therapist... no. But I could have been. The problem for me would have been to remain silent while the patient spoke! I have words. Lots of words. But they are not all hot air monologues of wisdom. They are emotional words... feeling words... words that connect and care. God gave me words.
God gave me the gift of understanding. I have only realized in the last few years how understanding saved my marriage. How understanding allowed my adult children to share their challenges. How understanding has probably been the gift that draws my friends to me. God gave me understanding in consort with words. Thank you God.
I cannot speak about gifts without speaking about the gift we give another when we accept their gift.
I had dreamed of inviting friends with whom I had meaningful loving relationships from all of the places I had lived to come to a beach house and spend the week together. We would share and remember old times. My friends and my girls created a multigenerational demographic of caring women. The house was rented. My girls wanted to do the work of planning most of the trip. My contribution was to choose the house, choose the friends and family, choose how long the friends and family stayed. My girls figured out how to charge for the food. How to bunk everyone. They planned who was cooking what night. When we would eat out. What day we would do the different activities besides beaching it that I had hoped to do in Charleston. My friends would call and ask questions about what the plans were. What about this... What about that... I answered the same no matter who was asking. Russ is paying for the house. I created the concept and outlined the vision. The girls gift to me is implementing that dream. If I ask every detail I am undermining them and forcing them to reveal the gift prematurely. My gift to them was accepting their gift to me. Gifting you see goes in both directions. By allowing them to plan the details, the week was far grander than anything I ever imagined. The t shirts were custom made of course at a reasonable cost and included in the food budget for all who attended. The quote on the shirt was a Judy original long forgotten by me, but remembered by one of my girls. A favorite song is "Glitter in the Air" by Pink. Each of us had glitter to throw into the air on the beach. It was a photo op. It was a moment that only those of us who were there could appreciate. The gifts kept coming because I accepted their offer to plan the week. It was all bigger than I could ever imagine because I let them gift me. It is just as important to be a good recipient as it is to be a giver. That's a gift.
God given gifts are another category. If we are beloved by God and gifted with talents it is our responsibility to claim them and then use them. If the gifts God gave were as simple as a fabulous singing voice that would be easy. Most of God's gifts are not so transparent. Over my 61 years I have sought to know what my gifts were. I always imagined myself in the next life having the gift of singing. The gift to be "the star" and make people tingle with my voice. Dreaming about that life isn't helping me claim whatever gifts God gave me in this life. So here is my assessment thus far.
I have the gift of hospitality. Not only in my own home, but in a broader sense. I welcome you to this life on this planet regardless of our differences. I believe this hospitality of spirit is what attracts some people to me. There is something within me that makes people feel safe.
I have the gift of words. I am not such a gifted writer although there are times when I can put together a nice missive. I am gifted with the spoken word. Not elocution. Not speech making. I am gifted in taking your feelings and putting words to them. I am able to sympathize or empathize about your problem and talk through with emotion the experience you are having. Am I a great therapist... no. But I could have been. The problem for me would have been to remain silent while the patient spoke! I have words. Lots of words. But they are not all hot air monologues of wisdom. They are emotional words... feeling words... words that connect and care. God gave me words.
God gave me the gift of understanding. I have only realized in the last few years how understanding saved my marriage. How understanding allowed my adult children to share their challenges. How understanding has probably been the gift that draws my friends to me. God gave me understanding in consort with words. Thank you God.
I cannot speak about gifts without speaking about the gift we give another when we accept their gift.
I had dreamed of inviting friends with whom I had meaningful loving relationships from all of the places I had lived to come to a beach house and spend the week together. We would share and remember old times. My friends and my girls created a multigenerational demographic of caring women. The house was rented. My girls wanted to do the work of planning most of the trip. My contribution was to choose the house, choose the friends and family, choose how long the friends and family stayed. My girls figured out how to charge for the food. How to bunk everyone. They planned who was cooking what night. When we would eat out. What day we would do the different activities besides beaching it that I had hoped to do in Charleston. My friends would call and ask questions about what the plans were. What about this... What about that... I answered the same no matter who was asking. Russ is paying for the house. I created the concept and outlined the vision. The girls gift to me is implementing that dream. If I ask every detail I am undermining them and forcing them to reveal the gift prematurely. My gift to them was accepting their gift to me. Gifting you see goes in both directions. By allowing them to plan the details, the week was far grander than anything I ever imagined. The t shirts were custom made of course at a reasonable cost and included in the food budget for all who attended. The quote on the shirt was a Judy original long forgotten by me, but remembered by one of my girls. A favorite song is "Glitter in the Air" by Pink. Each of us had glitter to throw into the air on the beach. It was a photo op. It was a moment that only those of us who were there could appreciate. The gifts kept coming because I accepted their offer to plan the week. It was all bigger than I could ever imagine because I let them gift me. It is just as important to be a good recipient as it is to be a giver. That's a gift.
Sunday, January 20, 2013
The Holidays
One down and one to go... the holidays are here. For some that brings joys of family time and fond memories. I would count myself in that group, but admit I also have memories of exhaustion having done all of the cooking, all of the decorating, all of the shopping, all of the mailing, all of the cards, etc. When my children were growing up, I WAS TIRED especially by Christmas. I survived and so will the next generation who seem to do things more simply and therefore with less stress. I still saw the lines of fatigue etched on Whitney's face at the end of Thanksgiving. She had done a beautiful job of hosting Thanksgiving not only for our immediate family but she had included two friends and their families and her mother and sister in law. She never complained of being tired. Neither did I all of those years ago. I hope she looks back and remembers the holidays fondly.
This is the first big holiday without Papa. Last Thanksgiving he came to my house for the last time. Even then I knew it would be the last visit to my home. He struggled to get into the bathroom. Needed help in the bathroom and was challenged at every turn. I knew it simply wasn't worth his effort to come here again. At this season I am missing him the most so far. I found remnants of ornaments I had made to brighten his nursing home room. When we smoked 6 turkey breasts and put them in the freezer for sandwich meat, I knew my dad would be proud. The same freezer was full of butter beans carefully frozen and taken in suitcases to Memphis. I use the meat fork he always used when carving a roast or turkey. I say "sugarbabe" and think of him. I embrace my family and try to be helpful and I think of both of my parents. We spent most of our holidays alone without extended family, but when we lived in Memphis my parents started coming the day after Christmas. We looked forward to their arrival almost as much as the arrival of Santa. I have those memories that I cherish. Hopefully my children and grandchildren will have cherished memories as well. Above all I hope my children get some rest and do not look back on the holidays with gratitude that they are OVER.
This is the first big holiday without Papa. Last Thanksgiving he came to my house for the last time. Even then I knew it would be the last visit to my home. He struggled to get into the bathroom. Needed help in the bathroom and was challenged at every turn. I knew it simply wasn't worth his effort to come here again. At this season I am missing him the most so far. I found remnants of ornaments I had made to brighten his nursing home room. When we smoked 6 turkey breasts and put them in the freezer for sandwich meat, I knew my dad would be proud. The same freezer was full of butter beans carefully frozen and taken in suitcases to Memphis. I use the meat fork he always used when carving a roast or turkey. I say "sugarbabe" and think of him. I embrace my family and try to be helpful and I think of both of my parents. We spent most of our holidays alone without extended family, but when we lived in Memphis my parents started coming the day after Christmas. We looked forward to their arrival almost as much as the arrival of Santa. I have those memories that I cherish. Hopefully my children and grandchildren will have cherished memories as well. Above all I hope my children get some rest and do not look back on the holidays with gratitude that they are OVER.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)